i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Houston, we have a squirter
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
