Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
