I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
