i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
