The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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