Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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