I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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