Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
