we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
