I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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