You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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