youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize