So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
