at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
