omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All I want is dick and wine.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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