i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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