I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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