we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
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I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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