haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
