i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
