i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
