That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
