Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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