he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
