I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
