that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
