dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
