talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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