Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
