you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Can you bring me the toilet please
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize