why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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