Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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