I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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