my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
