you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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