i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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