Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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