I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
