I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
