scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
