You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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