Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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