Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
