I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
