Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
