I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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