So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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