How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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