I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
