so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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