I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
