we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
false alarm. still invincible.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
