The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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