I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ladies don't puke and tell
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
