i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
