ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
