i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
