And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
