Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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